Before Delilah had arrived, I had already built a picture in my mind of how we would raise her. And the term ‘Princess’ was a huge no right from the start.
Before I get into this, I have to state that this is my own opinion. I do not force my view on other mums, I appreciated we all have a different idea on how to raise our littles and my goodness it’s hard enough with out a judgement, know-it-all saying you shouldn’t say this, or don’t do that. You, yes you! The mummy in the front row; regardless of your opinion on the matter and what you pet name your littles, you are doing an utterly amazing job.
With that out, here’s my rant.
When I hear the word princess, I automatically have images of a damsel in distress. Over ruled by parents and waiting to be saved by Prince charming. I will not be an advocate for this. Just as I am working on self image, body positivity and getting my relationship with food in a good place. It’s all to have a positive influence on my girl and any future children.
I don’t want to give my daughter the message that she has to wait for a man (or woman) to come and ‘save her’ because in short, it’s absolute bull shit. Nor do I want to give her the impression that, we as parents would rule over her in every aspect of her life. I think princess culture is a little over rated and borderline dangerous for young minds, and I’ve never been one to jump on board with it.
I was once called ‘Princess’ on a work phone call and went absolutely ape shit. Although it was said in kindness, this simple pet name stoke up a fiery rage in me that all my colleagues heard about that day. I thought it was entirly unprofessional and I was completely offended (I don’t become offended very easily). Maybe it was a generational difference, meant as sweet but turned out sexest remark. A coworker dubbed me as princess from that day forth to get my blood boiling, of course to no avail. What was done purposely has no impact. It was the unintentional nickname over the phone that really pushed my buttons, because I truthfully have no idea where it came from. I certainly don’t go giving off any ‘princess’ vibe. I’m not in-your-face girly, obsessed with anything that would be considered as glittery or pink or obviously classed as ‘For girls’. It was and still is a mystery.
Delilah will grow up to know that she can make her own decision. Clearly within reason as a child, but as an adult I want her to know her own mind and not have to wait for validation from peers. Indecisiveness and a want for validation is something I hope she won’t pick up, and it won’t be from me if she does. She will not be a damsel in distress.
I hope and wish for her she will never feel like she can’t do something alone. I’ve never had that problem, and to some people that’s a threat. I hope she feels the same. I will lead by example, because our children follow our ways and actions speak louder than words.
For me the only sweet thing about the term Princess is the image of what one might wear. I’m talking Disney movies. This word has negative connotations and I don’t want negativity to have any part on my children’s upbringing. Now if my girl chooses/requests to play dress up as a crowned wonder, and wants to make believe that she’s a character from a fairy tale I will encourage and play along with a smile on my face. Because imagination is to be celebrated and nurtured. Imagination is intelligence being creative. But as a pet name, that word has no place here.
I’ve banned Princess as a pet name in my house. It’s something I feel strongly about.
What’s you opinion on pet names? Are there any thay grind your gears?