A Sore Throat Meant No One Made Eye Contact

The worse thing about the current situation (covid-19) is the on set of mass panic. Its gripping my anxiety no end.

I caught a cold/flu thing from (presuming, but certainly not blaming- it’s cold flu season anyway) my work besties. So that’s three out of five of us that have been poorly in turn, but on my return to work last night when some one mentioned the good old Coronavirus as a tongue in check comment the rest of the room twitched and hawked my ever move. Daring to not even speak to me from a distance. Some wouldnt even look at me in the eyes during work related conversations, not that I spoke much. I felt utterly isolated, and was made to feel like I shouldn’t have bothered coming back to work despite it not being a covid related illness.

I am 1000% not a selfish person, and if I had thought for just a second that I would be putting anyone at risk I would have self isolated. Not only from them but from my husband too. My anxiety is crazy high on his behalf as it is. He is type 1 diabetic which means hes a higher risk category, so as you can appreciate I wouldn’t need to think about isolating myself to keep him safe. It would be a no brainer.

Think of the amount of coffee we’d drink!

The world is in melt down. I shop sometimes after work in our local 24h supermarket, and the sights from my latest early hours visit will haunt me somewhat. It was 12.50 (ish)am just ticking over to Saturday morning and the place was packed out. The shelves were empty for normal shopping goods. I cook alot, so to walk up the tinned food aisle to no tinned tomatoes or a packet of pasta/rice was ridiculous. I thank the goddess that my daughter is out of nappies during the day time and not using formula at all because that aisle was wiped clean. Literally no baby wipes. I’ve seen people posting on social media who are desperately trying to find formula for their dependant babes just to be told “sorry none today” just because its been taken by someone who could afford to buy out the entire shelf. What happens to the people who cant afford to buy 12 tins of formula for their pre-apocalyptic stock up?

The stupid have hit the supermarkets and made the rest of us rethink our stand point. Panic buyers, pantry stockers, doomsday prepp’rs have the logically minded questioning their own thoughts. And I have to admit, I’ve started buying additional items for our store cupboard, where I would normally have just got when I needed. And I feel dumb for doing it.

I’m not worried for myself. I do how ever run a house with a toddler, a diabetic and 4 pets; all of who need feeding, caring for and keeping clean. And this is where my anxiety lays. After all prior preparation prevents a piss poor performance- or so they say. Not entirely sure if this is logically for this situation but panic buyers are pressing on nerves that make it more relevant (at least I think).

I know this a hugely conflict ridden bit of writing, but that’s how my brain is right now. The internal stress and conflict is real. Stuck between logic and the need to be prepared. I am not a natural prepp’er, I am a natural optimist; meaning I can squeeze more into the 5 mins before I leave the house to an important thing than most people can in a week. This eternal optimism is also known as being a last minute Larry, but I genuinely think that even Larry needs to buy 1 or 2 packets of pasta because it’s going to be a long road clearing up the c-19 trash and isolation for all is imminent, just as it has been for other countries too. Time is and will be the only factor in this.

So with the greatest optimism, and a shit ton of love I’m off to find some war time recipes to test out. Could be an up coming post, who knows.

Love, very virtual hugs and not blown, not cheek, not lip kisses, L xoxo

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