The Start of Something

I’ve decided to start a bullet journal.

May is looming and I thought it would be nice to document life in full colour and style. I finally found a dotted note book at paperchase. It’s not an overly girly cover which I love and had plenty of pages for customising.

I’ve made a start on my first page. I feel like I’m a bit late to the game, but I make the rules here so May is a good time to start. I intend to have a full year calendar, a key and a few tracker pages.

I’m a little rusty on all things creative, but apart from an occasional picture on here, I don’t intend to share my doodles to often. It seems to be a better way to take up time that watching the general crap they put on TV at evening and weekends. I may even put in a blog post planner too. I know I am eager to see where this goes. Let my creativity roam and take some form on paper rather than a mulch of colour in my head. Who knows it might end up being good therapy.

Do you journal or bullet journal?

Xoxo, L.

67

A post full of gratitude. This is for all the lovely people in the blogging world that hit follow on my blog.

Thank you for your support.

When I re-started blogging a few weeks ago, I never thought I’d be viewed let alone read and increase my followers as much as I have. Sometimes I don’t write in straight lines, sometimes I write on a high of life and other times I write from the depths of a low. Any which way, it’s always from the heart. So thank you, a million times for sticking with my ramblings. I hope you will keep me honest and stick with me for as long as you can.

Here are pictures from our park trip this morning. Delilah and I went to Shibden Hall Park with her big cousin Rowan and Uncle Gaz. We played on the swings and took a walk round. It was so sunny, I even caught my shoulders. Uncle Gaz saved the life of a little frog that had it’s leg stuck in a plastic ball and surprisingly there was a ton of frogs mating in the little boat lake.

To my 67 – again thank you. I hope you managed to enjoy a sunny day no matter where you are in the world.

Xoxo, L

Exhausted

This morning was great. Up early, did a workout ate a banana and a Healthy Mummy smoothie and got picked up for a morning play date with my sweet nieces.

We went to one of our fave spots. Shibden Hall Park. It was a drizzly, over cast morning so it was pretty empty. We grabbed a coffee and got a picture of all the girls together, then headed up to the park to play.

Second workout of the day was pushing Scarlett on the swings. When I say swings I don’t mean conventional. I mean the big heavy net ones that swing and spin in all directions. Have you ever tried stopping one with a child on?! I’ll confirm; they are heavy. Pretty sure that will do for shoulders for a few days.

Stopped for lunch and had a salad to stay healthy. Yes, I’m being really good still… that’s 5 whole days. I better be slim and strong tomorrow!!

Had a phone call too when we were on our way home. We’re no further along in THE issue and I’m about to blow a gasket. How much more will I have to endure? How much longer will my patience last? And with the last question sweet heart, your guess is literally as good as mine.

This afternoon; dog pacing the room as baby had just eaten some snacks as he needed the loo. I open the front door to let him out in the garden. I shit you not, 2 perfectly white and fluffy feathers were just sat there. Right on the door step. Not sure how or why, and I’m always sceptical but this has to be a sign of better things to come. Then Aro (aka, demon dog) ate one. Stuck his wet nose in it, and licked it right up. I put the other in my purse in hope that it will act as some good luck charm. So maybe I’ll play the borderline believer now. The universe is going to take care of it? Maybe?

A white feather symbolises the following in the religion I would associate myself with (paganism):

• Peace

• Purity

• A glimpse or moment of awakening (like seeing number such as 11:11 Or 12:12)

• Trust and faith

• Hope

• Blessings &Connection with the moon

• Protection

• A visit from an angel

Here’s hoping right!?!

White feather blessings to you all.

Xoxo, L

Through The Fog

After last night’s head clear out, I’m thinking differently again.

We all have issues. And I’m struggling with how to sort this one out. The key hasn’t been softly softly, so kicking it up a notch could be worth a shot. I’m finding it hard to know which part of the puzzle I am. To my story I am the central peice. To their story I’m not sure where I fit, which is why this issue is taking so freaking long to sort out.

With last night’s post (brain vomit) all over the blog, today has been a bit of a haze. Delilah and I went for a walk, had a clean up as I talked to myself. I babbled on about my issue; meticulously planning out different scenarios and what I would say to each. I’ve had that conversation so many times now that if it doesn’t happen in reality I might actually self combust!

Now I’m sat here thinking about spontaneously setting alight, or just imploading. Yes, that’s how my mind works.

Delilah has decided today that the only thing worth crawling for is a dog toy or a plug wire. The days of sitting her in the centre of her toys and nipping out the room to throw some washing in, or empty the dishwasher are just about to be over. I am glad she’s on the move. My sweet girl was getting frustrated just sat there some of the time and ended up being a right wingey thing. She likes to pull herself up too, so lowering the cot is a must this weekend before she decides to escape. As you can see from the pictures little miss D is very happy to have her doggy’s toy.

Onwards and upwards right?!

Xoxo, L

Dealing With Limbo… Still

I’m still in limbo. Issues are still floating around and it’s driving me more mental that I already am.

I’m holding together each of my seams while juggling normal family life. I’m scared of a break down. Racing thoughts are being muffled and my chest feels like my heart is going to rip itself out.

This feeling is bleak.

Maybe the bitch will bite, because the sweet quiet girl isn’t getting results. Maybe it’s time to let the bitch out. The bitch gets results.

The anxiousness is making my chest heavy. I’m concentrating on more than one thing at once, so this post will probably make no sense.

I’m tired of not having what I want all the time. I see everyone around me building a life, and I can’t help but be envious of old school friends that have a huge perfectly new house or a fancy Merc. They go on all the luxury holidays, get married we’re talking like £20k weddings. And we’re struggling to continue saving for a house because I’m going through redundancy after being on maternity leave. And every time I get somewhere in my career, I’m knocked straight back on my arse. I can’t help but think “why me?” And “what the fuck did I do?”. I’m thankful for what I have, immensely so and I’d never change man, or baby but what the hell is wrong with wanting it all?

My heads a mess again tonight. I don’t like losing control, and the bitch make a me do that.

In other news; Delilah crawled forwards today rather than backwards. That’s a huge win for my little miss.

Back to the mental mess, I’ll figure it out I’m sure.

Xoxo, L